I would like to thank all the girls for participating in this post series. This post-series is definitely my favorite and it’s the closest to my heart. I thought about sharing what I had learned from each individual lady, but I figure I could do that by answering the questions and showing them and everyone the change in my thoughts about self-worth and self esteem.
Here is my first post about this in OCTOBER
Check out my entry down below:
- Name: Yetti, Yetunde if you’re nasty
- Age: 23
- Occupation: Business Systems Analyst
- Your Passion: Writing and attempting to inspire others.
- Random Fact: I am obsessed with to-do-lists
Do you think you have great self-esteem? If yes, was there a time when you didn’t and why?
Nope, no I do not… but I no longer think it’s terrible / nonexistent either. It fluctuates from day to day, but it’s a work in progress. If you’re an avid reader you’d know that my self-esteem hasn’t been too hot for years, so I think I’d address when my self-esteem was the highest and when it turned for the worst.
Prior to moving to America, my self-esteem was high, simply because I was always around family that constantly provided me with affirmations and praises. Not to mention I had people who looked and sounded just like me… I was normal! Then I moved to America… where I was the only black student in my class, where I was stared at for having a British accent and where I answered the question “They have black people in England?” on a constant basis. Needless to say that began to chip away at my self-esteem, not to mention other issues going on at home.
What do you think is the most attractive thing about you and why?
Physically, I think I’d say my eyes. Non-Physically, I’d say it’s my love. Whether it be for a friend, family member or significant other, my love honestly has no boundaries… which is a good and bad thing, because my love and care for people often gets taken advantage of. I don’t know what it is, but if I care for you I am going to constantly give you my all.
Do you sometimes feel the need to conform to society standards (Physical and Non-Physical)?
Yes, yes I do especially physically but I am also learning and embracing that it’s okay to be different, to be unique. For example, the issues I
have had with my body. For years I didn’t think I was beautiful because of my body, because I was overweight, because I didn’t have the curves other girls have, because I didn’t look exotic enough. I allowed the constant pickings of certain family members, friends and exes to dictate what I considered was beautiful… and because they didn’t see it in me, neither did I. Now I know otherwise… I am beautiful because I said so. I may not be drop dead gorgeous, I may not have the waist to behind ratio most men drool over, I may not understand sports, politics, or w.e other things men deem as important, but I am Yetti, and that makes me perfect as I am.
In terms of women with low self-esteem, who’s to blame: Her or society?
Ask me this a year ago and I would have solely blamed society, but today I think both play a strong factor. Yes society shouldn’t set these standards that we should look like Nicki Minaj or any other video girl with fake body parts, but you as the woman don’t have to compete against it either. If you want big boobs, a tiny waist, and a bodacious behind, want it FOR YOU… not because the XXL magazine told you it’s perfect. If you want to understand every rule and play in sports, and know every detail of the news… don’t do it to attract men, do it for your own personal enjoyment! If you want to lose weight, do it because you want to be healthy, because YOU want to look good, because you want to look and feel YOUR BEST. I strongly believe that sometimes you do have to make changes for the greater good of a relationship but that shouldn’t be the sole reason. Any change you decide to make should be because you want to be the best that you can be, which may happen to solve you being fit and sexy for your hubby, etc. You ultimately decide to be happy with you, not society, not your parents, not the cute guy with the crooked smile from the subway, but YOU.
Katt Williams: “You messed up my self esteem” … BITCH it’s called SELF ESTEEM! It’s the esteem of ya Mother Fucking Self… How did I fuck up how YOU feel about YOU ?”
If there were one thing you could share with the many women who suffer from a lack of self-worth and self-esteem, what would it be?
Disclaimer: I am still very much working on my sense of self-worth and low self-esteem. Yes I am taking my own advice .
Things That Help Me:
- Sit down and take the time to reflect on your life and all that you have accomplished. Make a list if you need to! Your trials and tribulations should show you how worthy you are of everything good that is out there.
- Instead of picking at your flaws and allowing them to sadden you, rejoice the things you love about yourself and make a plan to fix those flaws (which may not even be flaws in the first place!).
- The people that make you feel negative about yourself? CUT THEM OUT. I’m in the process of doing that now, yes it may be hard but how you’ll feel about yourself when they’re no longer their will be more than worth it.
- If you have no one to tell you how gorgeous you are… Tell yourself. It has to start from within, or you’ll never believe it when someone else tells you.